I've been subbing as a choir accompanist on a semi-regular basis at a couple area churches here, in and around Syracuse. Each time I go there is some doubt in my mind as to what my role really is. Sure, I have to know the music and be able to work with the musicians (who come from every extreme of the music literacy spectrum). But, to what extent am I there as a kind of "praise leader"? If I am 'in charge' of leading the musical portion of the worship for that day am I also obligated to act in the mold that the church desires of its members? Am I then merely a hired gun, not able to take the moments in whatever sanctuary to worship in my own way? (This is less a concern of mine, being über-protestant)
I've been unsure of where my duties end and where my sense of personal obligation picks up. However, something that happened this past Sunday set me off in a new direction. I was playing at a Catholic service. It was one for which I had subbed four or five times. This time, however, one of the members of the choir asked that I stand during certain portions of the mass. This was by no means a huge request, but the statement behind the actions requested from me was unsettling. Maybe it was on principle (out of defiance?) that I questioned whether or not I should honor the choir member's request - I'm just here to play the songs, lady! Right?...
I eventually stood at the appointed times, but couldn't help feeling a little dishonest. Somehow when the decision to 'play along' for the sake of the congregation fell on my shoulders I was more comfortable with doing so.
I'm still not sure what I'm being asked to do when I lead music for a service.
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